desperado!
u know, these periods of hiatus are very difficult for me to cope with. I am not asking you to change your behaviour in any way, I'm just sharing...
Why is it so difficult? Why do i wait for ur mails so impatiently? I am not like this with most people. Then why with you?
I think its because I see hope. I am like a drowning man desperately clutching on any straws I find. It is really terrible. I don't like being so desperate. But I am and I am not going to deny my nature. I'm reading a really nice book called pay it forward in which the heroine (a very outdated and desi term, I know, but I kinda like it!) tells the man to just sleep in the same bed with her even if he doesn't want to have sex cos she hates sleeping alone. That's pretty much how I'm feeling right now.
I'm incapable of maknig any woman friends right now because I just keep pushing them for more intimacy and that obviously drives them away. And I am like a machine. I don't even hesitate or change my behaviour or anything. I just start searching for another woman whom I try to befriend and again push for intimacy. Godamnit! I think I will just take up sanyas to escape from this whole mess.
Why is it so difficult? Why do i wait for ur mails so impatiently? I am not like this with most people. Then why with you?
I think its because I see hope. I am like a drowning man desperately clutching on any straws I find. It is really terrible. I don't like being so desperate. But I am and I am not going to deny my nature. I'm reading a really nice book called pay it forward in which the heroine (a very outdated and desi term, I know, but I kinda like it!) tells the man to just sleep in the same bed with her even if he doesn't want to have sex cos she hates sleeping alone. That's pretty much how I'm feeling right now.
I'm incapable of maknig any woman friends right now because I just keep pushing them for more intimacy and that obviously drives them away. And I am like a machine. I don't even hesitate or change my behaviour or anything. I just start searching for another woman whom I try to befriend and again push for intimacy. Godamnit! I think I will just take up sanyas to escape from this whole mess.
posted by philosopher stoned | 3:10 AM
2 Comments:
a long standing dispute between me and anki pertained to the meaning of the word 'desperado'. she used it in the sense of someone who is desperate. and i firmly held that the word desperado refered to any escaped convict and that it had nothing to do with being desperate in the general sense of the term that she used it in. neither of bothered to look it up in the dictionary. i wanted to preserve it as a private dispute between the two of us.
seeing the word once again in your blog made me finally look up the word. turns out it does refer to an outlaw. i was right.
I didn't even know that men like you existed in today's world.. men who are craving for companionship rather then just seeking to bed as many women as possible..
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