Love hurts
U know, she had told me that I present myself like an open house in which anyone can walk in the front door and walkout the back door whenever they feel like it, and that I should hold back some place and not let people do that. Well, she was right. And she has now walked out the back door like so many others!!!
And it hurts. Feels so bad. Makes me feel like such an immature juvenile teenager! Falling in love with someone I've never even met, and then feeling heartbroken less than 10 days later - its just too ... I don't know whats the word for it... like a girl who falls in love the moment a man shows her any interest which drives away the man leaving the girl sobbing and cursing herself, only till the next man shows some interest in her.
I am even worse than that girl. I think I need to make myself love myself more. I need to realise that the only person who can fill the loneliness in my life is me, and I think till I don't stop feeling so lonely, love will continue to elude me.
I have got to stop feeling this way. I have got to stop feeling so incomplete. But the worst thing is I don't know how. How do I stop feeling so lonely? Why am I so lonely? What do I do? This is driving me crazy. I just keep thinking that when I find that special someone, my life will become full of joy and more meaningful, that I will no longer feel sad and lonely, but I think that loneliness is an intrinsic part and there isn't anyone who can make it go away.
So am I doomed to feel lonely for the rest of my life? Is there no hope for me? I think it is this very loneliness and desperation that drove her away. And I'm so afraid that this neediness will continue to drive away any woman who shows any interest in me. I need help! This is the problem with being so intelligent. It is so difficult to be helped by anyone who is not as intelligent as u. And believe me, She could have helped me so much cos of her intelligence. That is what makes me regret this so much more. That she was just so perfect for me- how will I find someone like her again?
And it hurts. Feels so bad. Makes me feel like such an immature juvenile teenager! Falling in love with someone I've never even met, and then feeling heartbroken less than 10 days later - its just too ... I don't know whats the word for it... like a girl who falls in love the moment a man shows her any interest which drives away the man leaving the girl sobbing and cursing herself, only till the next man shows some interest in her.
I am even worse than that girl. I think I need to make myself love myself more. I need to realise that the only person who can fill the loneliness in my life is me, and I think till I don't stop feeling so lonely, love will continue to elude me.
I have got to stop feeling this way. I have got to stop feeling so incomplete. But the worst thing is I don't know how. How do I stop feeling so lonely? Why am I so lonely? What do I do? This is driving me crazy. I just keep thinking that when I find that special someone, my life will become full of joy and more meaningful, that I will no longer feel sad and lonely, but I think that loneliness is an intrinsic part and there isn't anyone who can make it go away.
So am I doomed to feel lonely for the rest of my life? Is there no hope for me? I think it is this very loneliness and desperation that drove her away. And I'm so afraid that this neediness will continue to drive away any woman who shows any interest in me. I need help! This is the problem with being so intelligent. It is so difficult to be helped by anyone who is not as intelligent as u. And believe me, She could have helped me so much cos of her intelligence. That is what makes me regret this so much more. That she was just so perfect for me- how will I find someone like her again?
posted by philosopher stoned | 7:38 PM
1 Comments:
Love happens. Nothin u cn do but wait and watch until it does.. though the wait certainly is long and trying. I always feel it to be so..
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