Control Dramas
The Celestine prophecy talks of four types of control dramas that we do in order to get energy from others. What energy you ask? Well, a simple of looking at it would be in terms of attention or love or interest from others, which is basically a form of energy.
The four dramas are: Interrogator, Aggressor, Aloof, and Poor me.
Interrogator gets energy by interrogating the person in order to find flaws and undermine his position and make him dependent. The aggressor gets the energy by dominating the person and forcing him to give all his attention to the aggressor. The aloof gets energy by maintaining a distance from the person to make the person pursue him, and the Poor-me gets energy by making the person feel sympathy for him.
When I first read this, I thought none of this applies to me, but now by observing my behaviour in my personal life, I have discovered that I am an Aloof. I just do not encourage any contact with any of my neighbours. I have a whole shitload of girls from a college which has made some apartments here as its college, and yet I do nothing to try and interact with them, except to run in front of them, cycle in front of them, and generally show off in subtle ways. But never initiate contact or encourage them to initiate contact. It is pathetic! When I first came here some neighbours took some interest, and tried to get me to visit them and be friends, and I just spurned their offer, and maintained my distance from them to the extent that we hardly say hi-hello. A guy moved into the appt below me, keeps asking me to visit, to spend time with him (he is very lonely here) and I spurn him also. I don’t like it when he comes to visit me either. But then that is because whenever he comes to meet me, he just uses me to unload his frustrations. Or so it seems to me.
My father played the Aloof drama, and I can see the terrible consequences of that. I and my brother are not really that close to him, though we still love him. There is the wall of aloofness between us, so we are not really frank with him. We fear his disapproval even though he never stops us from doing anything. In case of my mother, her drama is poor-me. In her case her drama works most of the time, and we always tend to support her in any family fights. While with my father the problem is that we are not frank with him, the problem with my mother is a lack of respect. How can one respect someone who does not respect herself? Or at least that’s how my thinking goes.
But the big question is what do I do now? How do I get rid of this aloofness? How do I start mixing with people and become a part of their world and make them a part of mine?
The four dramas are: Interrogator, Aggressor, Aloof, and Poor me.
Interrogator gets energy by interrogating the person in order to find flaws and undermine his position and make him dependent. The aggressor gets the energy by dominating the person and forcing him to give all his attention to the aggressor. The aloof gets energy by maintaining a distance from the person to make the person pursue him, and the Poor-me gets energy by making the person feel sympathy for him.
When I first read this, I thought none of this applies to me, but now by observing my behaviour in my personal life, I have discovered that I am an Aloof. I just do not encourage any contact with any of my neighbours. I have a whole shitload of girls from a college which has made some apartments here as its college, and yet I do nothing to try and interact with them, except to run in front of them, cycle in front of them, and generally show off in subtle ways. But never initiate contact or encourage them to initiate contact. It is pathetic! When I first came here some neighbours took some interest, and tried to get me to visit them and be friends, and I just spurned their offer, and maintained my distance from them to the extent that we hardly say hi-hello. A guy moved into the appt below me, keeps asking me to visit, to spend time with him (he is very lonely here) and I spurn him also. I don’t like it when he comes to visit me either. But then that is because whenever he comes to meet me, he just uses me to unload his frustrations. Or so it seems to me.
My father played the Aloof drama, and I can see the terrible consequences of that. I and my brother are not really that close to him, though we still love him. There is the wall of aloofness between us, so we are not really frank with him. We fear his disapproval even though he never stops us from doing anything. In case of my mother, her drama is poor-me. In her case her drama works most of the time, and we always tend to support her in any family fights. While with my father the problem is that we are not frank with him, the problem with my mother is a lack of respect. How can one respect someone who does not respect herself? Or at least that’s how my thinking goes.
But the big question is what do I do now? How do I get rid of this aloofness? How do I start mixing with people and become a part of their world and make them a part of mine?
posted by philosopher stoned | 1:12 AM
2 Comments:
I don't know whether we are even at the stage of conceptualising a way of being free of control dramas. At best, we're making baby steps by recognizing that we have them and understanding them better. What do you think?
my perception here colored by the fact that you draged your mother into this. i personally found that offensive. as secret as your identity is, people still know who you are talking about. whatever be the truth in what you wrote why throw a stone at her this publicaly? it adds no new insights into your article.
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