Ganja,

Well, I am writing this post ganja, so this should prove to be an interesting blog for all you wannabe social scientists ;-)

Well, lot of insights but no desire to write about them. How strange!

I am still missing her, but I don’t want to. So that is what I have been thinking about. And got a couple of good ideas about that.

First – I can’t really be in love with her. True Love is not when u love someone because that person is so wonderful and perfect. True Love is when u love someone in spite of all their weaknesses and flaws. So how can I really be in love with her when I don’t even know what she does when she gets turned off, when she gets angry, when she gets hurt… so many things I don’t know about her.

Second – if she really likes me then one mistake or wrong statement from my part will not cause her to leave. If that were so, then I would sooner than later make a mistake and she would leave me immediately after that, and so in a way its good if she leaves sooner than later.

Third – I got to get back into the civilised world. I have been withdrawing from people like anything, and hence I become so needy the moment I think I have spotted ‘the one’! We all are needy, and its perfectly ok to have friends because you are needy. I think at the end of the day you are also satisfying your needs and they are also satisfying their needs. So it’s a win-win situation, why should I shun it? Right now all my need is focused on one person and it has become like a laser and is bound to end up scaring away anyone who comes close.